Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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