I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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