I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
