I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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