I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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