You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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