Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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