so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
