I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
