Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
