you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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