Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
