My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize