Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
