dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
