So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
