He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
