my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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