I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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