Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize