We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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