My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
