i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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