took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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