I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize