i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
