If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
