They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
