I never want to see another naked old woman again.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Drake has all the answers
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
