its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
