I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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