so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
