I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Randomize
