You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
