When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
