Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Come on in and take your pants off
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