You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
