i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
