It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Randomize