big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
