M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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