i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
