It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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