"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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