i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
