K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
