Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
