your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
