I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
