Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
