so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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