there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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