How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm both gender and math confused
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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