he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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