Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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