Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
