Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
