I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
