i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
