i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
