Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
