Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
