real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
