He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Just pee around me
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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