shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
