Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
