I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
4 words: hood of his car
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
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