so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
