She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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