singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
