her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
