we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Randomize
