i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
